Unforgotten
by alwaysxsaidsnape
Summary: Tessa and Will have been living their life to the absolute fullest when it is time for Tessa to have her annual visit with Brother Zachariah. Will has been dying to tell his brother something and Brother Zachariah has almost forgotten what it is like to be human. Tessa finds herself doing the impossible - again - for the men she loves.


And here is the edited version of the chapter! -salutes;  
Much thanks to my amazing Beta reader, Michelle.

* * *

The Herondale house had never been a particularly silent one. If Will was not making a ruckus trying to reenact one work of Shakespeare at the top of his lungs, then Tessa was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe from watching him do so. All the quiet nights they spent together were not so much quiet as they were calm with Will resting his head in Tessa's lap as she played with his hair and read to him from one of their favorite books. But the man of the house had grown infinitely quieter since the arrival of their first born son and Will seemed to embody fatherhood to the point that Tessa often found herself having to remind him that normal fathers slept.

Tonight was no different from the numerous nights before it, and Will was wide awake in the nursery with his chin resting on the heel of his hand as he rocked in that rocking chair. Even in the dim light of the witchlight over the baby's crib, she could easily discern the color of his blue eyes as he peered between the bars of the crib at the sleeping boy. The baby stirred only slightly and tousled his black curls so that some of them now curled onto his smooth forehead, and she watched when Will jumped out of his seat as if he expected him to wake up. The infant yawned, but was instantly still in his sleep again as Will reached in to touch those curls with calloused, but delicate, fingers.

"You better not wake him, Will Herondale," Tessa chastised playfully as she entered the room in her night dress. Delicate hands held together at her front as she peered over the edge of the crib to look down at their son. "If he was awake, I have no doubt that we would hear him from our room. He is your son after all and just as loud."

Will turned to her with mirth in his tired eyes; the fact that he spent most nights awake watching him was evident in that gaze and the purple circles under his eyes.

"What makes you think he's not as composed as you, my Tessa?"

"Because I was an utterly boring child, and no child of yours could be boring."

The shadowhunter grinned - it was that grin that followed Tessa into her dreams - and she nearly swooned, but even now, after they were married, she would not give him the satisfaction of seeing her swoon. She just smiled back at him before shaking her head as he moved closer to her and slipped an arm around his waist.

"You know how to flatter me, Mrs. Herondale. I am a slave to your charms."

"If only," she teased him only to nearly shriek with laughter when he kissed a particularly sensitive part of her neck.

Tessa clamped her hand over her mouth when she started laughing as the baby stirred again before she pushed at Will and shook her head. One of her hands slipped into his before she pulled him out of the nursery and back to their bedroom.

She was already under the duvet as Will undressed, a book open in her hand, having to force herself not to watch him while he undressed. Even after four years she still wasn't used to how beautiful he was, and watching him get undressed was a guilty pleasure of hers that she had to do her best to hide lest Will get the wrong idea. Although it wasn't like he didn't know that she thought he was gorgeous because she told him often enough.

Still, she focused hard on her book before she felt him climb into bed next to her.

"So tomorrow is the big day, huh?"

It was the day she went to see Jem. _Brother Zachariah_, a voice in the back of her head reminded her, but even after five years of him being a Silent Brother she couldn't call him that.

"Yes, it is," she said gently, still sensitive to Will's pain and desire to see Jem that he was denied. They rarely talked about it, because it so evidently hurt Will that he couldn't see him as well. "I'm going to tell him."

Silence. Tessa frowned as the silence grew between them and she hoped it was because Will had fallen asleep rather than because he was upset. The frown only seemed to deepen when she felt Will move in the bed, and she figured that he had just rolled over to go to sleep. It was the soft crackle of folding paper that got her attention, and she turned to see Will holding out a piece of paper to her.

"What is it?"

"A note for Jem."

"Will, I -"

She couldn't do that, but the moment her gray eyes left the paper and met Will's again she knew that she could not deny him. His blue eyes were filled with a hope that was self-conscious and so fragile that it could have been blown away with the soft sigh that had threatened to leave her lips.

"I know you can't, Tessa, but," Will sighed only to take a slow shaking breath, and she knew he was fighting back an anguished sound that choked him. "I should be the one to tell him. Please."

Without a word, Tessa took the note from him and placed it between the pages of her book so to keep her page. The Herondales turned out the lanterns by the bed and easily fell into sleep. Both of them dreaming about a boy with silver hair and eyes to match without realizing it.

. . .

The day was bright and beautiful with birds singing as they passed over the bridge. Music filled the day with the river beneath the bridge as it rushed by and the chatter of the people milling passed her. Horses' hooves clopped on the cobblestone, and the soft neighs of their indignation didn't seem to take away from the beauty. The sun was high and, though a parasol might have come in handy to help against the rays, Tessa had opted for her book instead.

She stood against the rail of Blackfriars Bridge with her book between her hands as she waited for her company. The note that Will had given her the night before was between her thumb and the page she was reading. So absorbed in the words on the page was she, that she hadn't even noticed the cloaked figure that approached her till a shadow cast over the book's pages. Wide gray eyes turned up to see Jem there, and she couldn't help the smile that came over her face.

His skin was very pale, and his eyes seemed to be sinking into his skull a bit more than she remembered from last year. Brother Zachariah was dark in places where Jem had been light, but that pale skin was something that she was used to, and still she could see silver hair and silver eyes as she peered at him. Tessa could swear that there was a small pull at the corner of his mouth when he looked at her, but perhaps it was just in her head. Silent Brothers don't smile, but Jem did.

_I'm not Jem, Miss Gray. _That voice filled her mind; she still heard Jem talking, though she knew that the voice in her head belonged to all of the Silent Brothers.

"We have this argument every time we see each other. You will always be Jem to me."

Those pale robes with their scarlet runes still fascinated her at times, and Brother Zachariah never seemed to stand still long enough for her to read the runes. He moved silently around her, and she saw his dark eyes glance at the book she had between her hands.

_A parasol would have kept you safe from the sun, but you chose a book. Not very practical._

Tessa flushed brightly before laughing and looking down at the book in her hands before she sighed. "Life is not very practical. I prefer the structure of books sometimes; they're my anchor."

_I remember._

Everyone passing them by didn't seem to notice their presence, and Tessa was always thankful for that because in these moments she was so greedy. She wanted Jem all to herself, and it was only for an hour, so she had to make the most of it. Put a whole year of yearning into an hour where all she could do was talk and have him listen hoping to hear him participate when he felt the need. She still loved him even though she knew that whatever he felt for her was dulled greatly due to his ties to the Silent Brothers.

"Did you hear about Will and I having our first child?"

_Yes, I did. Congratulations._

"Are you really happy for us, Jem?"

_Brother Zachariah, _he corrected her before letting silence settle. If he could have sighed, she was sure that he would have, but he was perfectly composed next to her staring out over the Thames. _I am. In my way._

Somehow, hearing him say that made her ache because she knew that his way wasn't Jem's way. Jem would have written them a song about their child, and he would have smiled so wide that his face would have hurt. There was no doubt in her mind that he would have been happier than she and Will had been just because he had loved them so. Now he could hardly love them with all that wisdom and power that came with the title of Brother.

_Miss Gray, you shouldn't mourn the dead._

"You're not dead. Not really. Just," she sighed gently only to put on a smile. "Sleeping."

_I don't understand._

"You will one day when you're older."

It was easy to joke about immortality with him because the two of them were two timeless pieces on that board. Even though he didn't laugh about it, it felt good to her to be the one making the jokes instead of having Magnus making them at her. Sometimes she found herself wondering if she would be like him some day, but she was never one with a flair for dramatics, and something told her Magnus had always been.

Brother Zachariah only talked when asked a direct question, but Tessa didn't mind talking to him about everything that had been going on. Nothing was trivial because she wanted him to be as much a part of their life as if he had never left. Sometimes she got the feeling that he was zoning out on her, but he always reassured her when that feeling started to creep into her mind because he knew it was there. He may not have been very emotional, but he was a great listener.

The hour went by quickly, and she knew that she would only have him for ten more minutes when she pulled the small note from her book and held it out to him.

"It's from Will."

_It's forbidden._

"I know. But when has that ever stopped our Will?"

For the span of a few heart beats she thought that he would refuse to take it, but he finally reached a pale hand out to take it from her. Brother Zachariah slowly opened it and Tessa left him to the note for a moment, just staring out over the river. She had no idea what it said because it was from Will to Jem, and though she had become such a big part of them, Tessa knew there were bits they only ever showed each other. That was easy to accept because she loved them both so much, and now was no different.

Birds still singing overhead she looked up to see a cloud pass over the sun to offer some relief so that she could follow those birds as they went. Tessa was so focused on the sounds around her that she almost started when she heard the soft sound of weeping next to her. Brother Zachariah had his pale hands over his face, she could see the blue veins beneath the pale skin of his hands, and his shoulders were shaking slightly.

It had taken her three years to convince him that it was okay for her to touch his hand and hold it. Sometimes he still pulled away before giving in, but she couldn't help herself as she reached for both of those pale hands. Some part of her expected them to be cold, but they were warm and as delicate as she remembered when she held them before. Brother Zachariah released her hand to put one back over his eyes, but she could see the tears staining his pale skin. It made her heart ache and swell at the same time because he was still human enough to cry and that meant her Jem wasn't gone as he always claimed.

They stood there in silence till their hour was up with Tessa holding his hand as Brother Zachariah cried into the other. She shouldn't have been surprised when he folded the paper up and handed it back to her or when the tears seemed to dry up almost instantly when they had to say their goodbyes for another year.

_Give it to Will_.

That was the last thing he left her with as he turned in his silent way and left her on the bridge.

. . .

Tessa returned home with a lighter heart. Jem always seemed to help take the burden away when she saw him as it built over the year she didn't get to speak to him. She went into the living area first and caught sight of Will on the floor with his legs crossed and the baby standing with his help. He had wide golden eyes that were wise and mischievous in the way that Will's were as he peered up at her. She couldn't help but fall in love with him all over again as she moved to sit next to Will on the floor.

"It's the goddess Venus come to take all our love and adoration!"

A flush took over Tessa's cheeks at that, and she nudged Will with her shoulder before rolling her gray eyes. He was such an idiot, but it was okay because he was her idiot. The baby reached out one chubby hand to touch at his mother's skirt and gurgled happily as he kicked his tiny legs out. Tessa touched his dark hair before she put her book on the floor and took the note from the pages. She held it out to Will and studied his face when he caught sight of it.

His face fell slightly, and worry furrowed his brow as he waited for her to say something about it.

"He told me to give it back to you. He read it."

Will lifted his son into his arms and took the note in his other hand before he made to open it. The note had two simple sentences on it. One in Will's rushed script and one in Jem's elegant script. Tessa felt her heart swell and tears blurred her vision as she heard Will choke on a sob that was stuck between anguish and happiness.

_His name is James._

_Thank you._


End file.
